Archive | July 2011

When Will it Stop???

Have you ever felt like the weight of the whole World rests squarely on your shoulders? Do you feel that mythology had it wrong – Atlas was a woman? Well sista, please trust me you are not alone.

We have all felt that crushing weight at one time or another. We have all heard words of encouragement and at some times have thought them to be empty words of platitude. I know I have. I know it can be beyond a “challenge” sometimes. Hell, it’s a pain to try to keep using a “positive” word like challenge to describe a particular situation. Because as soon as you (well OK, me) start using negative words for the situation, it seems to get worse even if it is just a tiny bit.

But please remember YOU cannot control everything in life. Going back to my introduction story – I have epilepsy and at times it has negatively effected my life. Yes, with medication and the surgery I had I can stop my seizures. But remember, I had some hurdles to jump just to get to this point. I had to experience more seizures than I ever had. I had to loose a job as a result of the seizures. I (apparently) had to go through a time in my life where I felt useless and a burden. I had to go through some painful testing. There weren’t many things I had control over. I had all that weight piling up plus all the worry and frustration I added to the pile that only dragged me down further.

I suppose I had control over whether or not I went through the testing/surgery, but even that I really felt no control over. I felt I had to go through that because how else would I know if we could stop my seizures. During this time I was stressing over how we would pay for things/bills. Being short one income.

Then slowly but surely during the end of that process, things started getting better. I started (baby steps) a version of my business. That start helped my self-esteem and helped me realize that even though I had all that weight on my shoulders I could do something about part of it. I needed to do something so I felt like I could contribute to improving our situation. Doing that helped me get out from the soul-sucking depression I was at the edge of and could step away from.

Slowly but just as surely that weight started lifting from my shoulders and things are getting better – and so is my outlook on life. So dear reader, what I’m trying to tell you – things will eventually get better. When that weight lifts you feel like you can soar!