Archive | June 2012

Awww Mom!

(Laughter Therapy’s photo: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Laughter-Therapy/261247177272887 )

You know you heard at least five of these as you were growing up. Some of us heard each of these at least once in a week.

The stuff that would REALLY get us (my brother and me) in trouble were the answers we’d give.
1. The n. O is good. Right?
2. There’s only 2 of us, you have a 50-50 chance of guessing right.
4. COOL! School pictures are tomorrow…
6. Fine, that’s where my books are.
7. Does this mean you’re getting us a trampoline?
8. But what else can I feed the dog???
9. Neither is “look it up” it means you don’t know the answer too.

Yes, it’s amazing that my brother and I managed to grow up! 😀

Listening IS a Skill

How are your listening skills? Are they well honed? Or are they dull from lack of use?

Here’s why I ask.

Overheard conversation in a store – employee with supervisor.

Employee: Well, since you can’t schedule me to return this week, I’m sort of taking advantage of the extra time. I have to go to a funeral for a family member.

Supervisor: (Laughs) Oh, that’s very ni… oh, I’m sorry for your loss. Feel better, see you next week.

Now, I realize that I don’t know the whole story. However, the supervisor clearly wasn’t listening. Didn’t appear to even care what the employee was saying. But it is safe to say the listening skills are lacking.

Keep this in mind – whether it’s for your business or any other one-to-one communication – you need to listen to what the person is telling you. You simply just can’t hear what a person is saying. I mean, while you’re sitting there reading this if there’s any noise in your background you’re hearing it not listening.

Of course many people don’t seem to know the difference between hearing a person and listening to a person. OK, what’s the definition?

Hearing is a noun meaning the faculty or sense by which sound is perceived, the act of perceiving sound.

Listening is a verb (used without object) meaning to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing.

Now after reading the definitions you can see that one can hear another person only because they perceive a sound. Listening requires action. One must attend closely to know what is being said, or what is going on at the time.

It’s along the lines of your Mother asking “Are you listening to me?” Generally meaning you had better be paying attention to what she’s saying! Versus, “Did you hear me?”

The best way to develop people skills (and we all need them), is to have well honed listening skills.

When do you find time to take care of yourself?

Hmm, take care of myself. More importantly taking the time to take care of myself.

Hah!

Sometimes it’s not so much that I don’t have the time, it’s more like I find it a nuisance. When I need to get things done and I do a crazy thing (a recent example comes to mind), my tendency is to be upset because:
1. the injury happened in the first place
2. the reminder that graceful is not in my body’s vocabulary
3. having to maneuver around the blasted injury

When it’s a dozy and you end up on crutches, that kind of lack of grace makes for some really “exciting” challenges. Since we live in a tri-level, the bedrooms and my office are on the top floor with the laundry room the bottom with two sets of stairs in between – 13 steps. You try figuring out how to carry the laundry down those stairs, into the room then when dry carry it back up the blasted stairs!

Then just for an added dash of excitement, throw in a ringing phone.

Doesn’t my body know I have more important things to do? If I don’t work with my clients and get their projects done, the laundry doesn’t do itself, meals (like my own during the day)… You get the drift.

Then there are times when one doesn’t want to complain.

Why?

Because then you hear things like “Is it time to call the whaaambulance?” or the ever popular “Do you want cheese to go with that whine?” (yes actually, I like cheese), then you (OK me) can have a tendency to feel even worse. I mean, gee it was my fault I fell (it was an accident – no one plans these things). I can’t help it the doctor says to baby the knee – no weight on it. (Is he kidding didn’t he pay attention to the tri-level thing?) Then you start thinking of all the things that need to be done. By now you may be thinking “gee Liz, don’t you have systems in place?”

The short answer: a couple. I’m really good at telling others how different things/systems will make things easier for them, but I don’t always take my own advice. Does this sound like you? So as various parents have told their children over the years: Do as I say, not as I do!

Get systems in place. Do not be stubborn. Take care of YOU, go have fun once in a while. When life happens have things set up so you can handle urgencies/emergencies.