Archive | March 2013

Playing With Mom’s Makeup Can Be Exhilerating!

I saw this picture on facebook the other day and just knew what my Dad would say.

kids n flourThe story goes like this: A month after I turned 3 my little brother was born (yes, I’m glad he’s my brother and in my life). Dad had a long day and was TIRED – he hadn’t slept for a long time. He came home so the sitter could go home and he had to be there for when my Great-Grandmother arrived. Great-Grandma was going to be helping Mom and Dad. The plan was he’d go to sleep after she got there.

Back then it was safe to leave doors open – even if someone fell asleep on a couch… (oh yes he did.)

I’ve been told MANY, MANY times over the years that while left to my own devices I created a similar mess to that picture – but with a twist. Besides getting Mom’s loose powder all over the room, I got hold of one of her red lipsticks. I drew on the blanket, the floor and all over me. When Great-Grandma arrived and knocked at the door, I (of course) ran to see who it was.

Dad woke to screams!

As you can imagine looking thru a screen door slightly distorts the view – Great-Grandma thought I’d gotten hold of a knife and cut myself.

No one has ever said, I wonder if that greatly reduced my punishment for the mess I made in the first place. Obviously I wasn’t killed for that stunt – even though Great-Grandma couldn’t get the lipstick stains out of the blanket. Remembering her, I know she tried!

Smiley-innocentWhat kind of things have you done to torture your parents? What kind of things have your kids done to you? Please, share here – I know I’m not the only person who’s been nearly killed numerous times by adults in their life. (while trying to look innocent…)

As I write this I also realize that it’s a day after Mom’s birthday. She would have been 74. Yes, I do miss the women in my life: Mom, Grandma and Great-Grandma. I still love them. And Dad still likes to remind me of what I did all those years ago.

Do You Ever Feel Like Charly?

To plug along, cave in or kick butt. Some days this is, truly, my thought process. Occasionally a fear kicks in.

CharlyYears ago there was a movie released called Charly and it was based on the book Flowers for Algernon. (According to Wikipedia many schools and libraries have banned the book because of the radical ideas for mental treatment.) For those of you who are younger than me, the basic story is about a man who is mentally handicapped and strives to do better. He goes to night school to learn but he can’t retain the information. He can’t even spell/write his own name properly. He’s introduced to two scientists working on improving mental ability – they’ve had success with a mouse (Algernon). The rest of the movie shows how Charly improves, does amazing things (including an increased sense of self-esteem) only to end up back to where he was when this all started.

Why do I mention this?

Well, there are times when I feel like Charly – near the end of the story. There are times when I feel I’ve lost something. I feel I should know something and I just can’t grasp the meaning and learn it. (Not good when you have a business.)

I do know that it’s in relation to my meds and my seizures. I know that the combination doesn’t exactly improve brain function. But it is incredibly frustrating. I mean I should know… I used to know…

Fortunately the feeling doesn’t last long. But it is irritating and depressing. It sometimes takes me a bit to get past the feeling. I mean, geez I know I have the skills to do a thing, especially when I’ve been successfully doing that (whatever it is) for a long time. I can learn and I do continue to learn – I do not always stay within my “safety” range.

You might be thinking, um Liz, aren’t you being a little melodramatic here? Well, since I’m no where near to being on the level of the character Charly, it was the best analogy I could come up with to describe how I feel sometimes. Hell, to even type in this blog where potential clients could read this – scares me. It does take a lot for anyone to “fess up” to feelings and fears. It is important to know and remember – everyone has a fear of some sort. Fears are very real things, the trick is not to let them run/ruin our lives.

So dear reader, I truly hope you learn to face your fear – whatever it may be and not allow it to run your life.

Oh by the way – I saw the movie as a re-run. When it was released in 1968 I was too young to watch it then.

Who Me Scared? Maybe

sunny springThe other day (Sunday) was a beautiful day. It was 50 degrees, sunny and a light breeze; a perfect day for a walk thru my neighborhood (generally about 1.5 miles for the short walk).

OK, so I got to navigate around all the puddles from snow melt – some were DEEP, but all in all a nice walk. Then about ¾ of the way in to the walk I started feeling disoriented, weak, my tongue felt thick. These are all the feelings I’ve had after a seizure. I know I didn’t have one because I remember every part of my walk – the route I took, where the puddles are, etc. So of course I got scared and my heart started racing.

What’s up with that?

I made it home, and a neighbor was visiting my husband. I could have done without that. (sorry neighbor) I just was not feeling up to anything, especially talking with anyone. Since my knee has been bothering me, my husband thought that my slow movement was because my knee hurt. Well, maybe a little.

He stayed calm (I wasn’t really), and helped me make a sandwich – while talking with the neighbor and acting like nothing was wrong. Probably the best thing for him to do. After I ate (and the neighbor left), I did the other thing I always do after a seizure – slept for two hours and was upset with my husband for waking me up.

Then I started wondering. There was a change in manufacturer of my medication. (yes I get generic) So now I’ve been wondering (and a bit concerned), could there be an issue with the medication? Could this be a side effect? Like maybe the generic isn’t doing its job, gotta love those fillers. Or, could it be that because I hadn’t been exercising as much as I should, I was having some other type of issue?

Hmm, perhaps I’m still scared/concerned since it’s 2 days later and I’m writing this. Maybe I am scared. Maybe I’m just being overly worried. Maybe.