Tag Archive | fear

Do You Ever Feel Like Charly?

To plug along, cave in or kick butt. Some days this is, truly, my thought process. Occasionally a fear kicks in.

CharlyYears ago there was a movie released called Charly and it was based on the book Flowers for Algernon. (According to Wikipedia many schools and libraries have banned the book because of the radical ideas for mental treatment.) For those of you who are younger than me, the basic story is about a man who is mentally handicapped and strives to do better. He goes to night school to learn but he can’t retain the information. He can’t even spell/write his own name properly. He’s introduced to two scientists working on improving mental ability – they’ve had success with a mouse (Algernon). The rest of the movie shows how Charly improves, does amazing things (including an increased sense of self-esteem) only to end up back to where he was when this all started.

Why do I mention this?

Well, there are times when I feel like Charly – near the end of the story. There are times when I feel I’ve lost something. I feel I should know something and I just can’t grasp the meaning and learn it. (Not good when you have a business.)

I do know that it’s in relation to my meds and my seizures. I know that the combination doesn’t exactly improve brain function. But it is incredibly frustrating. I mean I should know… I used to know…

Fortunately the feeling doesn’t last long. But it is irritating and depressing. It sometimes takes me a bit to get past the feeling. I mean, geez I know I have the skills to do a thing, especially when I’ve been successfully doing that (whatever it is) for a long time. I can learn and I do continue to learn – I do not always stay within my “safety” range.

You might be thinking, um Liz, aren’t you being a little melodramatic here? Well, since I’m no where near to being on the level of the character Charly, it was the best analogy I could come up with to describe how I feel sometimes. Hell, to even type in this blog where potential clients could read this – scares me. It does take a lot for anyone to “fess up” to feelings and fears. It is important to know and remember – everyone has a fear of some sort. Fears are very real things, the trick is not to let them run/ruin our lives.

So dear reader, I truly hope you learn to face your fear – whatever it may be and not allow it to run your life.

Oh by the way – I saw the movie as a re-run. When it was released in 1968 I was too young to watch it then.

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What do you do about fear?

Sometimes “fear” is a good thing. It can keep you from doing life-threatening things – like crossing a freeway with your eyes closed.

When you’re a sci-fi fan (like me) you can have a line from Frank Herbert’s Dune series occasionally pop up “Fear is the mind-killer.” Of course the entire phrase is something to perhaps keep in mind, have on a wall somewhere.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Sometimes it’s great to say sure I follow this, but in reality how many of us actually can? How many of us are afraid of things like:

  • letting someone know how we feel?
  • not going along with the group?
  • not trying new things?
  • saying  how you feel about something – like injustice
  • NOT being politically correct?

Sometimes there’s a very good reason for all of these fears – they may be timely in nature. Depending on the entire situation these fears could save your life.

But how often do you let fear run your life? Run your business? How often do you NOT let it pass over and through?

It’s incredibly hard to get ahead in life/business if you’re afraid all the time. NO, I am not perfect. YES, I have many times where I’m afraid of things and as a result I may have missed out on something really good. But that is my problem to conquer.

Last year when I first started teaching adult ed computer courses I was afraid – OMG I was standing in front of a few people and telling them things about Microsoft Office, Word and Excel! What was I thinking? But I did just fine – my students even liked me. I’m still teaching, it’s fun, I get out of the house (don’t do that often with a home-based business) and it’s extra income. Not a bad result of conquering a fear!

What about you? What are you going to do to conquer one fear?