It’s been a while since I wrote anything in my blog (no I didn’t fall off the face of the Earth), many changes and just hadn’t gotten in to a new rhythm yet.
Well, I had found my rhythm and was (actually) feeling pretty confident. Then WHAM! A doctor (we’ll be getting a new family doctor), didn’t pay attention to my epilepsy and the medications I take. He only looked at my allergies – well that is a plus. The strength of prednisone he prescribed basically counteracted my seizure medications. It was as if I suddenly stopped taking them. Four days of taking the prednisone I had THREE seizures (in a 12 hour period) and spent two days in the hospital. I really don’t remember much of the week of December 15th.
After being seizure-free for SEVEN YEARS (2555 DAYS), this development is heart-breaking. It’s safe to say that my confidence level isn’t what it used to be; especially since I’ve never been big on having to ask for help. Someone needs my help – I’m there, what’s needed. I guess that right now I’m too busy being depressed and trying to find a way out of this pit.
I don’t understand some of the changes I seem to be going thru – they seem worse than before (not in any particular order):
- I feel more tired and a lack of focus
- It seems strange, but I seem to need my glasses more (I used to wear them all the time – but the last seven years I didn’t need them)
- My emotions seem off – I don’t really seem to feel much of anything (although I am still furious with the family doctor for putting me in this situation)
- I feel I have to fight to make my thoughts coherent – and explain myself clearly
- In 2006 when I had sooooooooooooooooo many seizures I felt like crying each time – this time I just feel drained
I know this sounds like an oh woe is me kind of thing. I guess the point I’m trying to get across – life isn’t always what you expect. It’s that “stuff happens” thing and you can’t always have things go your way. So, I’ve got to get my groove back, and not let things get me down.
Hey, it’s only 2,538 days till I start a NEW record!