Tag Archive | seizure

Only 2538 Days to Go

It’s been a while since I wrote anything in my blog (no I didn’t fall off the face of the Earth), many changes and just hadn’t gotten in to a new rhythm yet.

Well, I had found my rhythm and was (actually) feeling pretty confident. Then WHAM! A doctor (we’ll be getting a new family doctor), didn’t pay attention to my epilepsy and the medications I take. He only looked at my allergies – well that is a plus. The strength of prednisone he prescribed basically counteracted my seizure medications. It was as if I suddenly stopped taking them. Four days of taking the prednisone I had THREE seizures (in a 12 hour period) and spent two days in the hospital. I really don’t remember much of the week of December 15th.

1-2-15 resetAfter being seizure-free for SEVEN YEARS (2555 DAYS), this development is heart-breaking. It’s safe to say that my confidence level isn’t what it used to be; especially since I’ve never been big on having to ask for help. Someone needs my help – I’m there, what’s needed. I guess that right now I’m too busy being depressed and trying to find a way out of this pit.

I don’t understand some of the changes I seem to be going thru – they seem worse than before (not in any particular order):

  • I feel more tired and a lack of focus
  • It seems strange, but I seem to need my glasses more (I used to wear them all the time – but the last seven years I didn’t need them)
  • My emotions seem off – I don’t really seem to feel much of anything (although I am still furious with the family doctor for putting me in this situation)
  • I feel I have to fight to make my thoughts coherent – and explain myself clearly
  • In 2006 when I had sooooooooooooooooo many seizures I felt like crying each time – this time I just feel drained

1-2-15 acceptI know this sounds like an oh woe is me kind of thing. I guess the point I’m trying to get across – life isn’t always what you expect. It’s that “stuff happens” thing and you can’t always have things go your way. So, I’ve got to get my groove back, and not let things get me down.

Hey, it’s only 2,538 days till I start a NEW record!

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Life in Different Directions

At various times in each person’s life, directions change. This can be good.

medicalWhen I started working (after school), I planned on the medical field. I was there for quite some time and in various forms. I was a medical assistant, hospital staff phlebotomist, customer service in a medical lab, secretary/receptionist in a durable medical equipment company, then secretary in a peer review organization. I learned much from each position.

 

food serviceThen things changed and I worked in a corporate office of a food service management company as an administrative assistant (secretary). I had a lot of fun with this job – yes it was hard work and some stress – but I loved that job.

 

 

dentalThings changed again, I worked as an education coordinator for a dental company. I had fun here too – but a lot more stress.

 

 

virtual-assistantThen WHAM! Things changed again. Since my seizures got worse and stress is one of my triggers I was advised to not work in an office for a while. Well that’s been seven years, I do wish that edict would lift (I’ve been looking for a full-time job for quite some time now). That change caused me to start my own business. What I can do in my business is very good – as a virtual assistant I’m dedicated to helping my clients. When things got to a point where I knew I wasn’t the help I could/should be, I gracefully stepped away from my client.

 

 

retailWell you guessed it, life has changed again. I’ve been working part-time in retail for a few years now. It’s OK, but not exactly what I was/am looking to do. Now, the company I work for has offered me (I accepted) the position of Manager. The last time I was in charge was waaaaaaaaaaay back there in that medical assistant career! YES, I am nervous. YES, I do worry as to whether or not I will be good at this part of my career.

 

YES, my husband and I both worry about my seizures. I have been seizure-free since August 2007, I plan on continuing this wonderful aspect of my life. I do have to find a safe and perfect way to manage my stress because the last thing I want would be for my seizures to start again. YES, I do know that worrying is a form of stress and just that alone could be a cause of concern. My personality is that of a Type A, work like crazy has to be perfect kind of person. (No, I’m not like this at home) It is a challenge finding a diplomatic course – I’m usually blunt, I have found that in customer service blunt isn’t always a good thing. But that being diplomatic thing is stressful sometimes!

So, yes I am looking forward to this new adventure. Yes, as I tell others, it is important to keep an open mind and a positive attitude. That positive attitude is what will get me to where I need to be, and how best to handle situations. Just have to remember that one!!

Does anyone have any stress relieving/preventing techniques you could share? I would really appreciate that information! (Oh, and think good thoughts for me!)

Who Me Scared? Maybe

sunny springThe other day (Sunday) was a beautiful day. It was 50 degrees, sunny and a light breeze; a perfect day for a walk thru my neighborhood (generally about 1.5 miles for the short walk).

OK, so I got to navigate around all the puddles from snow melt – some were DEEP, but all in all a nice walk. Then about ¾ of the way in to the walk I started feeling disoriented, weak, my tongue felt thick. These are all the feelings I’ve had after a seizure. I know I didn’t have one because I remember every part of my walk – the route I took, where the puddles are, etc. So of course I got scared and my heart started racing.

What’s up with that?

I made it home, and a neighbor was visiting my husband. I could have done without that. (sorry neighbor) I just was not feeling up to anything, especially talking with anyone. Since my knee has been bothering me, my husband thought that my slow movement was because my knee hurt. Well, maybe a little.

He stayed calm (I wasn’t really), and helped me make a sandwich – while talking with the neighbor and acting like nothing was wrong. Probably the best thing for him to do. After I ate (and the neighbor left), I did the other thing I always do after a seizure – slept for two hours and was upset with my husband for waking me up.

Then I started wondering. There was a change in manufacturer of my medication. (yes I get generic) So now I’ve been wondering (and a bit concerned), could there be an issue with the medication? Could this be a side effect? Like maybe the generic isn’t doing its job, gotta love those fillers. Or, could it be that because I hadn’t been exercising as much as I should, I was having some other type of issue?

Hmm, perhaps I’m still scared/concerned since it’s 2 days later and I’m writing this. Maybe I am scared. Maybe I’m just being overly worried. Maybe.

Thanksgiving

Yes, it’s that time of year when we reflect on all the things we’re thankful for. Although some of us also wonder just why shopping has gotten to be so important. Those Black Friday sales now have Thanksgiving pre-sales. REALLY?

Well, back to the original thought – thankfulness. No ranting here.

There are many things I’m thankful for:

  • My husband has been cancer-free for a year and a half.
  • I have been seizure-free for five years.
  • Our home
  • Our family and friends
  • My husband – that he’s even in my life. (he’s my rock/my life)
  • My business/clients

Every night when I pray, I start with Thank You God for everyone and everything in my life. Thank you for my husband (the love of my life), our home and thank you for today. Sometimes that’s it, others I will ask for help – for family, friends, and sometimes for me.

I’m thankful for waking up in the morning. I’m thankful for the abilities I’ve been given and those I’ve learned. I’m thankful that I can type my blogs – I’m thankful that people read them!

This year Thanksgiving will be different. You see in July my step-Mom passed away. Dad had surgery in October – still healing (it’s OK that it’s a slow process). Kim – being a FEMA Inspector will be in New York.

I’m thankful that the hosts of the B&B he’s at will let him stay during the holiday. I’m thankful that I don’t have to search for a place for him to stay. I’m thankful that he’s in a safe place. I’m thankful that I can spend Thanksgiving with Dad. I’m thankful that my brother will be able to be there too. I’m thankful that Kim’s truck will get me where I need to go (it’s a wee bit beat up ’95 Dodge with a LOT of miles), it runs great and that’s what counts.

Yes, I miss my husband. But I am thankful for our cell phones! We talk every day.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?