Tag Archive | truth

Food for Thought

I know it’s been quite some time since I wrote on my blog. Terrible – I let life get in the way! Right now I’m going to give you a scenario and let you use it as a food for thought kind of thing. The following is true, the names (only) have been changed, you know that “protect the innocent” thing.

I was talking with some friends and the topic of self-confidence and what effect it can have on one’s life and choices.

discouraged-emojiDaniel, the oldest of three siblings, stated that he had been giving this a lot of thought. He believes that most of his negative issues happened when he was small. Daniel explained that he was born at night (no, not last night…) he rolled off the time, somewhere around 9:00ish. He told us that according to his parents the month/day wasn’t the only qualifier for his birthday, the time of birth was needed. So, it isn’t his birthday until 9:00 whatever PM on July 23. So, Daniel got to go to friends’ birthday parties, but he never got one. His siblings – a sister and a brother – got to have parties because they were born at a “reasonable” time for kids to have a party. So, Daniel never felt that he was important enough. When it becomes time for him to list possible ideas for gifts (birthday or Christmas), he won’t give any, because he doesn’t believe he’s deserving. Daniel then told us that as a kid he was always told “no, you CAN’T do” whatever. The reason; just not capable, “you’re not stupid, you just not good enough, you keep messing things up.” Never mind that he got excellent grades in school. He was valedictorian in high school. When he got to his early twenties people started telling him how great he was at various things he did. He just didn’t believe them – still has a challenge with believing. It took a lot for him to tell us this, he rarely tells us about his childhood.

strong 2 emojiThen Carol spoke up. Carol is also the oldest, she has a sister. She said she never had any issues like that and was thankful she didn’t. She and her sister were allowed to make mistakes growing up – some were real doozies. The worst her parents ever said was to ask “what did you learn?” Of course there was the occasional “bet you won’t do that again” comment too. Carol was her high school’s salutatorian, and still has her National Honor Society sash. Carol is a very confident woman. She does say that occasionally she has strong bouts of depression, but she eventually gets thru them. Other than that, she’s very happy with her life. She knows she’s important, she doesn’t give a rat’s ass for what anyone might think of her. She knows who she is and likes herself and that’s all that matters. Carol never had to wait for her adult years to be told she was good/great at anything.

So folks, here is your food for thought.

How do you feel you handle life? Are you like Daniel, do you have a hard time believing when people say you did a good/great job? Or are you like Carol, more self-assured?

For the most part, Daniel had a great life as a kid. He may have been a bit nervous to try new things, but he found ways to have fun. Unfortunately, Daniel still feels undeserving.

So, something to chew on, ruminate over…how do you handle things? Do you think positively or negatively (about yourself) because it’s easier to believe what you were told in your formative years?

So, please share your thoughts. Dialogue about this is important. We need to remember words can hurt. We need to let kids make and learn from their mistakes, it only makes them stronger as they get older. But then, that’s just my thought.

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And That’s the Truth

Not long ago I was asked to write an article about TRUTH.

I’m part of a group of women entrepreneurs producing a monthly e-magazine called It’s All About Yes and our latest topic deals with truth and how it effects you.

My article talks about the Golden Rule, treating others as I’d like to be treated.

truth-1Well, last night I couldn’t fall asleep right away – I hate those nights. I kept thinking about other truths. I kept thinking about the phrase “that’s the honest truth.” Umm, isn’t truth by its very nature honest? So, of course I had to look up “false truth.” Yes there is such a thing. According to the Urban Dictionary: A false truth is something believed by many people to be true but is not. It is usually something that cannot be backed up with hard evidence. Or: A very subtle lie that most would not be able to determine whether it is true or not

Based on that second definition, isn’t that the same thing as a “white lie?”

Well, the other thing my mind kept going over and over, with the “honest truth” constantly popping Edith annup. I kept thinking of Lily Tomlin playing Edith Ann – and that’s the truth!

One of the things that kept running thru my mind: what’s been going on in my life lately. I’ve not been a (completely) happy camper of late.

As you know, I have epilepsy and need to take medication to control my seizures. When one takes medication you need to be careful and make sure that the generics you get are consistently the same as what you’ve been getting. If you don’t monitor this you can suffer some nasty side effects. Well, I’ve had to change where I get my meds and had to research into where they get the meds from. I spent a lot of time on the phone for this one. Well, I found what I needed to know, got the new generics. But I’ve been dealing with some lousy side-effects. One effect being not being able to clearly concentrate. This is not good when you need to be accurate for clients.

So, as a result I’ve taken on a part-time job to supplement my income. This is not a bad thing, many people find themselves in a similar situation. And, since mine is a home-based business and I’m at my desk all the time, being out of the house for the part-time job is a good thing – I get out of the house.

But, once in a while I wonder. Are my disoriented feelings a result of the medications? Could they be a result of working my business and working a part-time job? Could they be a manifestation of my feeling like I’m failing? I mean I must be failing somehow – I had to get that part-time job…

Now, because of my ethics of the importance of doing everything right for my clients, I’ve introduced a client to a friend of mine who is also a truth-2virtual assistant. Yes, it makes me feel a bit better that I’ve succeeded in looking out for my client. However, I’ve now further reduced my income. That isn’t helping me any. There was a series of “malfunctions” leading up to this decision, this facing another truth.

  • The disorientation making it hard to concentrate, I wasn’t performing as well as I should.
  • Then I got a nasty cold and felt even more miserable.
  • While feeling miserable/unfocused I opened a bad email and a truly rotten virus attacked my computer. My computer guy was wonderful and was able to save everything!
  • Right after getting my computer back my wireless keyboard started failing. SWELL. According to a tech at Logitech it’s possible that the virus affected the keyboard. I have to wait 3-5 business days to get the replacement keyboard (thank goodness for warranties).

Because of all of the above happening, I’ve had to use my laptop. It’s a great little thing but doesn’t have everything I need. So, I’ve lost a client (my decision – don’t want to keep letting her down).

All these truths are hard to face.

All these truths are depressing and make me want to curl up and hide. We all know that won’t solve anything!

So, here’s my plan to solve these rotten truths:

  • Revel in the fact that the disorientation is easing up.
  • Enjoy the part-time job – it is helping me through this time. (not necessarily making things worse)
  • When the computer is complete again, find a class on one of the things I’m not so strong in and take it. Being in a “formal” class will help my brain function more clearly – snap me out of the fog.

2013 is going to be a better year for me and my business. I just need to keep positive.

And that’s the truth!